Ogor Winnie Okoye, a music aficionado and lover of people, earned a Bachelor's Degree in law from the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus, and a Juris Doctorate from the Suffolk University Law School in Boston, Massachusetts. She is a trial attorney and founder of the law firm BOS Legal, LLC. She is an avid writer and blogger who has published several articles on positive living and related topics. She currently resides with her husband and children in Massachusetts. In this interview she talks about her book and what inspired it, her journey in life's endeavors and a whole lot of other stuff.
EXCERPTS:
Tell me a little bit about yourself
My name is Ogor Winnie Okoye. I am a married to man I absolutely adore, Victor ( I call him my Bubu); I have four lovely children, I am a trial attorney and the founder of BOS Legal, LLC, a firm specializing in criminal and immigration laws; I love writing and blogging; I am a lover of LOVE and a lover of life! I am extremely bubbly and I love people! Music is my first love. I also sing and record my own songs.
I must admit, “Awaken And Unleash Your Victor: Uncover the Path to Your Magnificent Destiny” is a well-written book. In what environment did you start putting your thoughts together on this book into perspective?
Ambrose, When I started getting in touch with my spirituality and asking questions about life generally and my life specifically, I began this journey that led me ultimately to uncover the greatest, most positive and most potent force of all - LOVE! After that encounter, I found that the application of the principles that I shared in the book gave my life a whole new meaning and made me encounter joy and peace like I never felt before. That was the precise moment that I started writing. My husband had also encouraged me to make this collection of my thoughts into a book. I knew that I definitely wanted to share this with the world! I knew that lives would be improved and enriched through the message! The actual writing of the book was not something that comes all of the time. It is really difficult to explain but I do get random thoughts and inspiration only when I am in harmony with the force of LOVE! I cannot write jack, no matter how hard I try if I am out of sync, meaning, not at a very healthy and positive frequency! I can only write when I am at a positive and joyful place! That is when those motivational and inspirational thoughts start streaming and I can sit down for hours and just lose every sense of time and place! it is beautiful when that happens!
For years now, I have been jotting down my thoughts into publishing a book, telling different kind of stories, and up till now, I am no where done and yet to publish. What’s the key to publishing within a time frame?
Personally, I think it comes from really enjoying the penning process. Ambrose, you are a natural already and so might not need this advice but I find that when you really enjoy the writing process, again, it is going back to powering the force of LOVE, it is a lot more seamless and it will automatically flow from within. So, I guess the key to publishing within a time frame is finding the process enjoyable and not merely writing to publish because you will write effortlessly when you are in harmony and find the process really enjoyable.
You are trained as a lawyer, and one would expect you’d be writing a book on law reviews and things like that. What generated the book you have just written instead of thoughts relating to your area of specialty?
[laughter!] I am a trained lawyer both here in the U.S and also back in Nigeria! I love the law and my clients but I found that the topic that I explored in my book is such a fundamental and compelling topic that spans across people of all races, religion, creed, background, etc. Almost everyone on earth is searching for answers and wondering about life generally and what their purpose or destinies might be. This is a journey everyone will attempt to make at one point or another and it actually is the impetus for every religion and ideology out there. People have always searched and are still searching for answers and so, i delved into a topic that I believe if and when you eventually grasp it, almost every other facet of your life will begin to make sense and your life will become a lot more seamless. At least, that is what I found in my personal life after I embarked on my individual journey!
You are a practicing attorney, a mother of four children and happily married. With a handful of these responsibilities, how did you find time to writing this book?
Ambrose, personally for me, life is almost always about balance. If you are truly determined to do anything whatsoever, you will not only make time, but you will also make a concerted effort towards making it happen! I write only when I am in sync with the force and if that happens when I am driving, I have had to pull over to pen that thought down, I write sitting down in court and waiting for my case to be called; I write when the kids are sleeping! I just love writing!
I read about how “stress” and “worry” took a toll on your life, and, on a variety of troubling issues. What did you do to overcome that predicament?
Ambrose, that is a great question! Thank you! Before I began this journey, I was so stressed and trying to find that balance that we just talked about! I was working very hard and yet felt really unfulfilled. I knew that there was something lacking in the whole story of my life and decided to search. When I encountered the force that I spoke about in the book, I understood that I was charting the course of my destiny through the thoughts, words, actions and inactions that I had taken thus far in my life and decided at that point that I needed to change course. Changing course through the victor-driven principles that I shared in my book gave me the precise antidote for the stress and worry, all of which It just evaporated and I look back at those wasted years and just feel so sorry for my poor little self. Worrying and stress are both negative emotions and diametrically opposed to the most powerful and positive force of all!
On Page 86, you wrote: “Each time we condemn, criticize or coerce another to change, we further widen the gap towards our self improvement and miss out on yet another opportunity to evolve into our highest good possible. The journey of change must start not from others but from self.” From around what time did you start realizing that change must start from you?
Ambrose, that quote is to me what everyone of us needs to embrace and imbibe in our dealing with one another! Imagine what would happen when we each acknowledge our own flaws, blemishes and short-comings and begin working on eliminating those. Life would be blissful for everyone! As beautiful as it was meant to be, I have tried to change people in my life by condemnation, criticism, even coercion and the result has been nothing but a colossal failure. You just cannot change anyone. Try changing a man and you will end up being the most miserable person on earth. I am talking from experience and I am sure most people can attest to this. [ laughter] But seriously, people can only change when they truly desire to change on their own. They become resentful when you try to do it and who the heck are you to try to change another when you have so many blemishes yourself. When I realized that people step up to your level when you become an example of what you attempt to make of them was a defining moment for me. Just like Ghandi said, "be the change you want to see in the world". Utilize the most powerful and positive force of all as your constant ally to become the person that you want your spouse, family, friend, children, and acquaintances to be and they instantly would step it up to your level.
You cited Thomas Kempis, Martin Luther King Jr., Albert Camus, Melodie Beattie, Sophocles, Ralph Waldo Emerson, among others on social related problems around us. Are there any Africans you admire who should have fallen in that category of thinkers and who have done things worthy of mention?
I love Nelson Mandela! I love M. I. Okpala, even though I never met him, he has a compelling legacy of selfless public service!
Like face-to-face emotional interactions, was this book the way to express your feelings in what you went through?
Yeaah. . .it was Ambrose! "Awaken and Unleash your Victor" is my individual journey and the convictions and conclusions that I reached during the journey. It also has a lot of time-tested principles including Biblical quotes that embrace the same principles that I attempted to share with the world.
What was the inspiration behind “Role of Prayer, Faith and Religion in Unleashing” and “You, Yourself and You” in the last two chapters of the book?
That chapter on prayer for me stressed the point regarding the huge difference between spirituality and religiosity. They are not even remotely the same and when we become more spiritual as opposed to more religious, we find that we begin to experience a lot more answered prayers because spirituality envisages that you are in tune with LOVE which is really God! I gave the example of the reason why the reception (answers to our prayers) is usually poor even for the people who are very religious. Reception is poor because in reality the transmission is clogged with negative and toxic emotions which are very far from the force of LOVE! You begin to receive better transmission the moment you embrace the force!
The last chapter on "You, yourself and you" was an attempt to reiterate the enormous power that we each wield as individuals; sort of, like putting a ring on the whole process as Beyonce will say! You must be a willing participant and open to embarking on this individual journey towards awakening and unleashing your own Victor before your life assumes this incredible new dimension! You do not have to force others to start with you; you are single-handedly behind the wheels of your destiny and when you embrace the force, backed by your own faith and unequivocal belief in a particular outcome, success for you becomes inevitable! Your journey or destiny is really not tied to any one person or thing and it is yours and yours alone to make! Other people cannot and should not determine your destiny for you unless you let them! I want everyone to recognize how stupendously powerful they can become when they start practicing being in harmony with the force!
What would be your advise to young and aspiring writers who have read your inspirational book and what path they should follow?
Always follow your bliss! Make LOVE your primary guiding principle while putting in your earnest and best efforts and success would have no choice but to come to you!
Anything we should know about what you are working on, right now?
Bubu and I are doing a collaboration on relationships! Kind of like, love, sex, and marriage. I am also putting my quotes together for a possible sequel of more inspiration.
Thank you very much Ambrose and the opportunity for this interview. It was a pleasure!
